written about a month ago on the metro-north to poughkeepsie.
last night i went to a concert at south street seaport with a good friend and could afford $6 beer and had this fantastic view of the lights ... but i didn't feel that glimmer of being okay with living new york until we took the cab on that bridge (which one i still don't know) and saw the brooklyn bridge lights and we seemed like we were floating: teresa (my old friend), tyler (teresa's high school friend who has always been one of my favorite acquaintances), tyler's MIT math buddy, and a kid named peter from the ukraine with a crush on me or teresa or both or maybe that's just how he interacts with girls.
also, i used to tell my old roommate scottie i hated the knife, but it felt perfect last night and i don't hate them anymore.
even battles were perfect at south street seaport ... much more fulfilling than the pretentious noise-fest i expected. i mean, it was just that, but it worked.
oh god, i think understand new york city hipsters now. products of their environment, only some are more susceptible than others.
sometimes i miss the essence of people or our particular situation which can never be repeated. it's not that i want them to happen again. i just get really curious and wish i could feel how i felt then again, for just one moment, without consequences -- to just take stock of my emotions and give today's more of a context.
always looking ahead or behind. always missing the way it was or jonesing for what would be. i should have no friends and just travel.
